Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Is NOT the Sexiest Man Alive and Neither Am I

The Rock was voted People magazines sexiest man alive the other week, so in natural Keno Radio fashion I'm here today, 10 or so days later, to explain why The Rock is not the sexiest man alive. That's what we like to do over here at KR, something happens, wait a few days (weeks) until people forget about it, then bring it back up like its new news. Gotta stay 2 steps behind in order to stay 3 stays ahead. Write that one down.

But anyways like I said The Rock is not the sexiest man alive. Scientifically impossible. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a bald man. A bald man is not the sexiest man alive. Period. And I'll take no arguments otherwise. There is a very specific criteria to be had if you want to be considered sexy. Defined muscles, strong jawline, tan skin, just enough facial hair to be like woah that guy can grow a stellar beard but he's clearly deciding not to to keep the ladies on their toes, and most importantly, a luscious head of hair. In order to be even considered a sexy man, one must have a full head of hair. You don't necessarily need to have Bradley Cooper's lettuce, but you must have something up there in order to even be considered. While I appreciate the gesture by People magazine, trying to include us bald men and not divide us even further from society than we already are, on behalf of bald men everywhere, I can not accept this award. It doesn't matter how rich and famous and successful you are, or how nice a guy you pretend to be, the title of sexiest man alive is based strictly on looks and you can in now way, shape, or form be the sexiest man alive if you look like Mr. Clean. Science.

Also, I'll say it, The Rock is getting extremely overrated. He got really big really quick and everyone loves him. A. he's a very bad actor. Yes I love Fast and Furious and loved San Andreas but you gotta call a spade a spade, he stinks at acting. B. Everyone points to his Gram and says how good a guy he is. Yeah he does all this stuff for kids but he records it all and lets us all know how good a guuy he is. That makes you not that good. "Character is how you act when no ones is watching" Think about that one DJ.

Also, also I'm watching Ballers season 2 right now, bad acting all around in it. Besides my man Rob Corddry, just not a whole lotta good actors in it. Huge step below Entourage.