This Clown Nonsense Has Gotta Go

As you probably have heard by now there's some new thing going on where people dress up as sketchy clowns of death to scare people. Nope. I'm out. Not up in here, not up in my country. This is precisely where I draw the line. This right here is why we're losing our status as the Greatest Country in the World (not sure why I capitalized that but it felt right). It's because of politics, it's not because of the way McDonald's makes hamburgers, it's not even because of the hippies. Our country is taking a nose dive because of these PSYCHO PATHS who dress up as clowns for the fun of it! WHAT! WHO DOES THAT?!?!? I literally can't wrap my head around this. What person in their right mind thinks it's funny to dress up as a clown and hold a gun. WHO THINKS THAT'S FUNNY?!?! I kind of heard ramblings about it in New York and Philly but didn't give it much thought. Until last night when there was a report of a rifle-wielding-clown wandering around Merrimack College. That's where I live! The clown is in my wheel house! Last night I was snugged up in bed, watching a little Friday Night Lights on Netflix (seen a bunch of eppys never watched it all the way thru, back off) and my buddies are talking about this clown wandering around Merrimack with a gun. I was too busy taking life advice from Coach Taylor to really process the severity of the situation. Then it hit me. THERE'S AN ARMED CLOWN OF DEATH OUTSIDE MY HOUSE! Instantly started freaking out. I hate being scared. Hate it, if there's one emotion I could wipe off the planet it would be being scared. And if you like being scared you're just as much of a psycho as these clowns. So now I can't go outside after 8 o'clock without being concerned that a freaking clown is gonna murder me. Is that the purpose of this whole thing? Like are these clowns killing people? Cause if not than this is even more maniacal than I thought. It's one thing if you're an actual murderer and you dress up as a clown to murder people, but if you're doing it just for fun and looking to scare people you need to be gone. I don't know where to put you but as far away from me as possible. Like take this stunt else where to some deserted island and all you freaks can scare each other. Don't come around to functioning human beings neighborhoods with this little stunt. What is this The Purge? I sleep with my blinds open cause I like to wake up when the sun wakes up, makes me feel like we're boys, now I gotta shut my blinds at night cause I didn't wanna wake up to Bozo tapping on my window with a shotgun. It needs to end, like this can't be a thing anymore, I'm officially putting my foot down. A world with psychopath clowns of death with rifles is not a world I wanna be a part of. No Thanks.

Also, this is a PRIME example of why horror movie directors should be thrown in jail. The movies these people come of with are INSANE. The fact that the FBI just turns a blind eye to the writer of Saw is crazy. That dude is literally insane. Quentin Terrantino? Throw him in jail! Guys like that have no business corrupting people's minds with this nonsense. Jason Segal and Paul Rudd should have to sign off on every movie for it to be greenlit. I promise you there would be no clown murderers then.

Also, also didn't even include a picture of a clown cause I'm too scared. Also pretty scared a clown's gonna see this and stalk me and murder me. Legit worst way to ever die.