Breaking Down the Worst Foods to Eat in the Office

The sponsored snap stories have to be one of the most ignored social media advertisements of all time, i avoid them like the plague, but every once in a while one will catch my eye and i have to no choice but to check it out. This weekend i opened the app and saw the food channel had a top 10 worst foods to eat in class. I was intrigued because everyone whose ever been in an office/classroom knows how miserable the burnt popcorn kid is. However, what i found was one of the most ridiculous lists these baby blues have ever seen.

1. Tuna Salad

This one is so basic, the low hanging fruit of things you don't eat in public, if you will. I cant hate on the truth of it, but when i see these buzzfeed-esque lists, at least give me something with a little more thought than “yeah you probably shouldn't eat fish that comes in can, mixed with mayo, and stored in your warm backpack for hours, in a public place.The sky is blue, grass is green, and i do not want a side of tuna with my English literature.

2. Spaghetti

I don't even understand this.

4. Ramen

Again, i don't even understand this. Do people carry bowls around and cook ramen/spaghetti? I feel like i may be alone here, but i do a complete 180 and find this perfectly normal if you have one of the square packaged ramens, and eat it cold like a cracker. Crunch like you read about, take that over a Ritz any day.

5. Macaroni & Cheese

A fine delicacy of American Culture, sure. But to risk the quality of such a fine food over a mid class snack is wildly irresponsible, and for that reason, i am out.

6. Leftover Chinese takeout

If you eat left over Chinese food your an animal, animals don't go to school or work, this should never happen.

7. Boiled Eggs

Eggs should only be found in a kitchen or at diner. Period…. Besides, Scrambies or bust.

9. Freshly Popped Popcorn

I think “freshly popped” are the operative words here. Ive crushed more bags of smart food while not paying attention in class than i care to admit but I've also smoked out more kitchens than i care to admit because of the lyin’ S.O.B, the popcorn button. Is there anything that fails their job more often than the popcorn button on a microwave? I think mr. Orville Redenbacher created that just to ruin our food and make us buy more of it, genius.

10. Fast food

I've never once grabbed fast food and not finished it by the time i parked my car, one because its delicious but more importantly i am way too self conscious to allow anyone to see me eating it. Having fast food in class tells me two things, 1. you are way too open about being a slob and 2. you have the appetite of a VS model (yeah the ones who throw up their fast food even when its light out and their not 13 Bud Lights deep).

Ps. i know how to count but #3 and #8 were Salt & Vinegar Chips and Fruit By The Foot, i wasn't going to dignify those fallacies with a rebuttal.

Kix Note: I do not for the life of me understand why on earth people think left over Chinese food is a no go. Left over Chinese is literally one of the best left over foods of all time. I'd even go as far to say its second only to the king, left over za. Absolute lunacy. Also quick side note, nothing goes better with Chinese food than a tall glass of milk.