The Definitive List of GOATs

With Johnny Bananas winning his record 6th Challenge title the other night, it got me thinking who the real GOAT is. Being the GOAT isn't strictly about talent, its a mixture of many tangibles and intangibles that make up a person that sets them high above their competition. Pizzazz, grit, guts, talent, personality, one-of-a-kindness it all factors in to being the Greatest Of All Time. So without further ado, here is the definitive list of GOATs:

5. Jennifer Aniston

Just an absolute ageless wonder. One of the few people on this great planet that somehow just keeps skipping out on father time and gets better looking with age. Not to mention every movie she makes is absolute fire. We're the Millers, Just Go With It, The Break Up, Marley & Me, the list goes on and on. However a troubled love life raises some eyebrows about her personality, which is why she can go no higher than the 5 spot. And oh yeah she starred in a little show called Friends, ever heard of it?

4. Brett Favre

Brett Favre is the All-american man. He is what every guy in America strives to be. Grew up in the low country, was a college football stud, then went on to the NFL where he was the most electric football player of all time. Just an absolute gun-slinger. He was the ultimate high risk, high reward athlete holding the record for most picks and formally held the record for most TDs. He played the game the right way by always having fun and when the lights shined brightest, number 4 came to play.

3. Thomas Luther Bryan

The showman of all showman. The greatest entertainer of all time. A voice of an angel blessed by God, I could listen to this man sing for the rest of my life. His concerts are electric factories and his songs are straight fire flames. Luke has helped make country great again by taking it mainstream, but also sticking true to his Georgia roots. Not to mention he also held a free concert in Panama City Beach for 7 years to help do his part to Make College Great Again. The best ever.

2. Johnny Bananas

The greatest television game show competitor to ever walk this earth. Johnny Bananas has won 6 Challenge titles and $410,000 over his run as The Challenge GOAT. The dude has won almost a half a million bucks by jumping off cliffs and eating pig testicles. He is the ultimate snake it til you make it guy. He knows his role, he knows what he is doing is hilarious, but he takes advantage of it and the results have proven successful. Johnny Bananas is one of the greatest athletes of all time, not too many people can brag about 6 rings.

1. Usain Bolt

Absolute no brainer here. Usain Bolt is the fastest person to ever walk this earth. Think about that for a second. You might have been the fastest kid in your class, or even hold a state record. But this guy is the fastest person to ever run. Something that everyone has done in their life, and he is the best at it. Just an absolute trump card on everything. "Usain you spilled some sauce on your shirt" "I'm faster than everyone who has ever lived ever". It must be a pretty nice feeling. The dude also just oozes pizzazz and swag, he knows how to get the people going. Also, heard the other day Usain has never run a mile. That's awesome know what you're good at and stick with it, no sense making yourself miserable for 9 minutes when you can be the best at something for 9 seconds.

PS Where's TB12 you ask? not the GOAT. Greatest competitor and winner of all time, no doubt. But also one of the most boring athletes to ever lace em up. Let the ego out Tommy. He also can't throw the deep ball.